Last night I wrote this on Facebook:
If God took away your talent, your ministry, your gifts, etc would you still love Him? Was reading ‘Crazy Love’ tonight and it made me think. Sometimes it seems like being a “Ministry Christian” is the “hip” thing to do, like wearing scarves with t-shirts. But if God told you to just sit, not do anything but love Him and serve Him from a pew, would you still love Him just the same, regardless? Whew…made me think! God is looking for people who love to love Him, not people who love acting like they love Him.
I have been thinking about this all day today as well. Last May I attended a conference where Kim Walker was speaking. Kim Walker is aWorship Leader I desire to be like…a woman who reeks of LOVE and ADORATION for Jesus when she worships. Kim is humble and leads Worship out of a heart abandoned…I love that!
While at the conference (You can read about it HERE) Kim spoke one morning about how when she first arrived at Bethel God told her to not tell anyone she could sing. She said it was hard for her and she spent hours crying about it. She talked about how in that time God taught her to just love HIM…not worry about singing and using her gift but to just focus on her and Him. As she spoke I began to cry in my seat, terrified. What if God asked me to lay down my gift? What if He told me to not sing for a while? Could I handle it? After the session I had a chance to talk to Kim for about 5 minutes or so and she left me with some great wisdom and thoughts.I left that day and told God to do whatever He had to do, if I had to lay down my gift I was willing.
Literally a month later I (somehow) caught what seemed like whooping cough (though the doctors couldn’t figure out exactly what I had). I literally was coughing every 30 seconds for about a month. I tore up my vocal chords and couldn’t sing for about 2 months. Even after the 2 months I had trouble singing, would lose my voice after about 20 inutes and my voice just didn’t sound like it had before I got sick. It wasnt until about a month ago my voice has started sounding like me again.
At first I was a little mad, I was like, “FOR REAL! When I said You could do what You want, I didn’t think You actually would!” God challenged me to learn to just love Him from a seat on the main floor in the Church. So, I did. I showed up every Sunday and sat…worshipping God from my seat, not even being able to sing. Learning to Worship from the INSIDE. It was HARD let me tell you. I have been singing my entire life, so not being able to sing was hard. Here is what I learned in that time:
1. You don’t need your voice to Worship.
-Worship is a CONNECTION with you and God. Learn to Worship from the inside. Cultivate a Worshipful heart that doesn’t requre you to do anything but sit and be quiet.
2. Worship is not about You.
-We hear this ALL the time, but it is so true. Worship is not about me or you. Worship is all about God. Worship is not about the Leader, the Band, the Church, etc. Worship IS however all about giving HIM all Glory, Honor and Praise just for who HE is, not just what He does for us.
-I have learned to Worship God while sitting at my desk at work, riding in my car, or just going through my daily life stuff. Worship is a lifestyle, not just something you do on Sunday mornings. I always say, “Worship on Sunday should be an extension of your Worship throughout the week.”
-I personally LOVE listening to Worship music…Jason Upton and Misty Edwards really help me get lost in His presence, but I have learned to not NEED music to get lost in His presence. Its harder for me, because I love music and honestly music makes finding God easier for me.
-Learn to find God and Worship and Adore Him in the silence. You dont NEED someone to help you get there…it makes it easier when there is a Worship Leader/Band but learn to not need them.
4. Learn to just Be.
-When I wasn’t able to sing God really taught me to just love Him for who He is. Not for what I could do for Him.
As a Worship Leader this was hard for me. I missed being on the stage with the team. But God taught me to just BE. To not worry about DOING, but BEING.
I keep thinking about what seems to be a fad lately with young adults: Ministry. If God took it all away…your ministry opportunities, your talents, your gifts and asked you to go into a season of not serving and just BEING could you and not be offended and fall even more in love with Him? Thats what it comes down to. Loving God for who He is not what you can do for Him. When you are stripped of the “stuff” of Christianity and its just you and God can you love Him even more?
Worship for me is a lifestyle. I was born with music and song in me. I was born with a creative heart. I cultivated a heart to Worship, one that longs to hear the songs and sounds of Heaven. I am in a Worship Band called “The Sound”, and our goal is to lead worship and bring Worship from the throne of Heaven to earth, to sing and play the songs and sounds of Heaven on earth! That is my hearts cry, to hear the songs of Heaven and sing them.
I long to see Worshipers and Leaders lead out of the OVERFLOW of their love for God, not because they’re talented and gifted. My Pastor, Sean Tymeson, is insanely talented and when He leads Worship the Spirit of God wrecks the place because Pastor Sean has learned to cultivate a heart and lifestyle of Worship. A man who doesn’t lead for a title, fame, or recognition but because He loves God and that’s it!
I desire to lead Worship and not just lead but to be a vessel for the Holy Spirit to work through.
When I saw Kim Walkerlead Worship last summer I enjoyed watching her. She knows how to lead and get lost in His presence! She leads from a heart that has learned to love and adore and worship without sound, without singing, without leading. She learned to cultivate a heart of Worship in the Secret Place and look where God has her now! She leads worship for thousands! She leads thousands into the presence of God…I enjoyed watching her be lost in His Glory. She told me that she learned to worship in the Secret Place, on her own, without music and sound. This past year was a year of learning that for me, I still haven’t mastered it but I desire to!
What are your thoughts? I would love to hear from you guys!